Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mt.C-NRO - Meltdown

Mt. Chipotle researchers, sponsoring agencies, aficionados, et al.,

Clearly, we have been busy monitoring the great mass that is Mt. Chipotle. During the last few weeks of "radio silence" some startling news and misconceptions regarding our dear Mount have been brought to our attention. We at the NRO ask that you allow us to disabuse you of some of these (clearly) uneducated and false thoughts so that we may all be able to view both the Mount and our research with the magnificence and scope deserved.

Statement 1) Mt. Chipotle is gone.
Response: Mt. Chipotle is not gone. It was visible from both the Rte. 29 and from Space today 10.03.04. Next statement.

Statement 2) Mt. Chipotle can be pronounced "Mount Chih-po'-lay" or "Mount Chih-poat'-ah-lay"
Response: While both pronunciations have caught on among the news media and moms all across this great land, the Mount Chipotle Heritage Foundation only recognizes the one true pronunciation: "Mount Chih'-poat-lay".

Statement 3) Mt. Chipotle is under threat of Snow Dragon attack.
Response: Sadly, this is true. The support for mountain top removal has spread into the once protected snow mountain ranges of the Mid-Atlantic. With the ever-loosening guidelines surrounding snow Mount removal, the threat level for Mt. Chipotle remains at CRIMSON. For those unfamiliar with the scale, it is a 58 tiered threat system, with CRIMSON sitting at position 39. The last time that the treat level was this high was when NRO researcher Savanna Barry dropped 0.32mL of hot sauce from her Carnitas burrito onto the newly-formed mountain. Stay tuned for further details.

Statement 4) Dr. Steve Chanimal Chaneaux won the Mt. Chipotle Meltdown Pool
Response: Laughably, no. Not even close.

We hope that we were able to clear up any rumors and misconceptions that have been surrounding this great and noble mount. Please be sure to continue to to follow our progress right here. We hope to have another post coming to you in the near future as the meltdown progresses.

-Dr. Zorders


  1. Dear Noble Mt. Chipotle NRO staff,
    Could you please address yet another important rumor: is there really BURIED TREASURE under Mt. Chipotle, perhaps dating from the period contemporary with the burial mound at Monasoukapanough near the Rivanna that Jefferson excavated? Or is it...Otherworldly?

  2. Dear Dr. Zorders and colleagues,
    I was wondering if you could please address another rumor about Mt. Chipotle that I heard recently...Is it true that there might be buried treasure beneath the mountain and that the Barracks Valley authorities are protecting the mountain from outsiders because they want to keep it for themselves?? It is possible that Mt. Chipotle is actually a burial mound, perhaps related to the nearby mound formerly located at Monasoukapanough a bit up Rte 29, excavated by Jefferson??